Vernal Vengeance

Many ancient religions (and contemporary religions as well) reenact the cycle of the seasons in their rituals. Most rituals begin with an acknowledgment of Winter's mortification--an empty lifeless state. Then, a rite of purgation or cleansing occurs (Spring cleaning, anyone?). Next: invigortion--an attempt to bring new life into the world. Finally, a celebration of the return of life. This pattern can be found in ancient Babylonian festivals and Catholic mass. And in our front yard.

All of our mortificant shrubs and trees are slowly awakening. the creeping phlox was first to show:

Incidentally, this variety is the "Flirty Eye Creeping Phlox," which is my new pick for best fictional venereal disease EVAR!

Next, the Japanese Cherry tree decided to wake up. I was worried in the Fall, but this one seems to love our yard.

Our Redbud tree is also beginning to show, albeit coyly. We have just a tiny spray of color around its ankles.

More on this tree later in the season. Legend has it, that this is the tree from which Judas hanged himself. Its wood is so weak, because it refuses to allow suicides to ever happen again, preferring its own flesh to be broken and torn instead. How's that for some medieval atonement theology? Happy Easter weekend!!

Even our Zombie Crepe Myrtle is starting to moan and shuffle. In the Fall, I decided I didn't like its shape, and overzealously pruned it. Turns out that plants need leaves to survive though. Go figure. This time, I won't cut these little guys off.

Yay Spring!!

Belated Ice Worries

This should have been posted 2 months ago, but we noticed, in the really cold weeks of January, that we had some weird fortress-of-solitude type crystal growth emerging from the turf. Odd, yes? Hoary gelid stalagmites. (You can always remember that stalagmites push up from the ground mightily, while stalagtites hang tight to the ceiling).

The ground between the house and the air conditioning unit is pretty much a cesspool. It's always very wet due to the condensation drainage from the outside unit and a drain pipe from the inside unit. I'm guessing that's what caused this.

A few weeks ago, after the thaw, I dropped a socket wrench from 3 feet, and the thing sank into the muck up to the head. Looked exactly like this:

We've put in a splashpad to redirect some of the moisture away from the foundation, but that won't change the fact that we live in the swamps of sadness. But, you know, happier.

Evergreens

When we moved in, we noticed that our front flower bed had these very pretty orange flowers in it, and an undead crepe myrtle (more about this later).

Well, the flowers died, so we replaced them with some contrasting evergreens. "Vintage Gold" Chinese False Cypress in back and "Blue Star" Juniper in front.

My nectarshake brings all the insects to the yard

A few weeks ago, we got fed up with the bland and generic shrubberies in the front yard. Well, we like the shrubberies just fine. They are healthy and relatively symmetrical, so we have no objection there. But the Ms. wants flowers and color. Quoth the Ms.: "Color is what makes me go 'woo'."

So, we we found some of these awesome purple coneflowers, a.k.a echinacea purpurea, and put them in between the shrubs. Coneflowers are like the redneck cousins of daisies. They're wildflowers, and not as popular in gardens because of their big orange seedheads.

We quickly noticed, within 30 minutes of planting them, that local bees (I assume they are local and not out of towners) were big fans. Well, it IS autumn, and there's not a lot of pollen to be had. I wonder if the bees would love us so much if it was Spring. Here's a bee making overtures to our new plant.

 Well, yesterday we were swarmed with butterflies as well.

I think there are 4 butterflies and 2 bees on this one slutty plant.

Traditionally, Echinacea was used to help heal insect bites, diphtheria, typhoid, blood poisoning, and other diseases such as tuberculosis that affect the body's immune system. The American Botanical Council states that "Echinacea may be of value for any infection, chronic or acute, but especially where there is not long-term immune deficiency or dysfunction." (Herbalgram #30 supplement, 1994).

But I think they're too attractive to eat, and the insects have apparently called dibs.

Dawkins made me mulch

Problem: The area of our backyard under the roofline has been eroded by rainwater pouring off the roof. The result is a ditch about 8 inches lower than the turf level, filled with sand and rocks.  It reminds me of a neat story...

Richard Dawkins uses the example of how the force of pounding surf, given enough time, will eventually sort all the rocks on a beach, tossing the lighter rocks farther up the shore, and leaving the heavier rocks closer to the water. To the passing observer, it would seem that this order and organization in nature must be the result of intelligence. But no, it's just physics.

So, that's what I was thinking of when I saw this ditch full of sand and pebbles. Then I realized the ditch was ugly, possibly dangerous to the foundation, and Dawkins is a shrill and bitter man.

So, what to do? Probably the smartest thing to do would be to install gutters. I've got them in front, why not in back? But that seems complicated (it probably isn't), plus I don't own a ladder. Well, why not dig a flower bed next to the house and fill it with an assortment of shrubberies? Yay! New project!

First, chop up the earth, mix the tough clay with topsoil and compost, and level everything out. No toads were harmed during this project. Several, however, were relocated aerially over the fence.

Look at all the red Carolina clay. Fun fact: the clay turns red because of a complete lack of aerobic bacteria. It suffocates life! Normal soil particles are irregular shaped, and allow moisture and air to flow between them. Clay is made of flat plates that lock together forming a nearly impermeable barrier. Jerks. Hopefully, by amending the soil with compost, we will break up the consistency a bit.


Next, we plant! For this bed, we decided on a mixture of Japanese Box Hollies and Purple Diamond Fringebush. Both will only get to be 4'-6' and do not require full sun.

The Ms. and her sharp instruments of agri-wonder:

With shrubs planted, it's time to mulch. I've never lived in a place with red mulch. Always brown. Well, I'm an adult now, and I'm getting red mulch.

Maybe the red doesn't set off the purple fringebush as well as a tan mulch would. Oh well, too late now. I had already bought nearly 30 cubic feet of the stuff. (nb: When guesstimating how much mulch you will need, go ahead and multiply your first guess by like 11, and save yourself a couple of trips to Lowe's).


The finished product:

It didn't occur to us until after the whole job was done that the new flower bed, on the North side of the house, gets absolutely no direct sun. Check back in a year to see if these plants make it!

My hypothesis is that the combination of mulch, shrubs, and flower bed borders will thwart the erosion of both my topsoil and the credibility of robust divine action.

Trees: Round 1

Our first priority were trees. We have quite a bit of space to work with in the side and front yards. We decided to go with two to begin with.

For the front, I wanted lots of color, and maybe something flowering. I probably should have done more research, but I got impulsive, and just picked up a couple of trees from the local Lowes.

First, a Yoshino Cherry. Now, I'd never planted a tree before, so here it goes...

Our soil is a mixture of sand and clay. Mostly clay.

The Cherry tree will eventually look like this (in Spring):

Also planted an Autumn Blaze Maple,

which will eventually look like this (in Fall):

For now, however, the trees are babies, and it kind of looks like we've planted sticks in our yard.

Backtrack: Let the Yardscaping Begin

We moved into the new house in July of 2009. As you can see, the landscaping is serviceable and pleasant, if nondescript.



Neither Ms. Groundskeeper nor I have any background in gardening, planting, or anything else. Initially, our plan was to mow the lawn, maybe grow a flower or two, but not get involved.

This blog will be a running account of how unable I am to leave well enough alone.